What is a dream, but a smoky wish?
What are wings for, if u cannot fly?
What are wings for, if u dare not trust them?
So what if dreams are shattered?
So whaf if wings are broken?
They are but a dream.
They are but without use.
It is not the dream that matters.
Its chasing the dreams that matter.
It is not the wings that matter.
Its soaring through the skies that matter.
Fly if u have the courage.
Struggle if u have the strength.
Wait not for the wings and dreams to disappear.
Wait not for regret and despair to set in.
In the end, there is only this...
Loneliness, regret, pain...
O.. how i regret that one choice.
Viewing the sky from the ground...
Ever wondering, could i fly again?
Many a times, i look upon the sky...
Ever trying to remeber the joy of flying...
Zealous, or painful? Fun, or deadly?
Emotions that i can never again experience...
Huang Pei
HCI
07s6k
Artemis
24/11/90
Huangcheng
huangpei90@hotmail.com
Loves
her
Painting
Huangcheng!
xinyunxinyun*1507*!!
Huagang!!!
and all my frens =)
Hates
Regrets
Giving Up
Its all over!!!!!!!!!!!! Promos are a thing of the past =) haha..... quite relieved........ think i did reasomably well bah.... hmm.... but i guess it wasnt the best la.... hmm....... o well...... its over and done with =)
Hmm...... this afternoon was the best afternoon for me in weeks =) =) haha....... shant blog abt it here xP.....
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 7:45:00 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Hmm..... why is technology so undependable nowadays.... why do hps spoil so easily =(...... really really miss receiving her smses...... hmmm.... feels so weird and empty without her smses...... haha.... really really really miss her............. cant stop thinking abt her even though promos are only 4 days away......
Sigh.... i wonder.......... 13 more days =)
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 7:43:00 PM
Sunday, September 16, 2007
hmmm..... realised i forgot to thank br in my last post =S..... haha... thx br for being there to talk to me xP..... o ya, and sorry melvin for not talking to u on the bus....... cause wasnt really in the mood at that time =S....
Hmm.... i realised its only when u fall, then u truly realise who your true frens are.... its only when you need someone to turn to, someone to just listen to you, that you'll realise who your true frens are =) and im glad at least, i know i have a few true frens =)
On a more important note, 8 more days to promos!!!! =S..... PANICK!!!!!!!!! MUG!!!!!!!!
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 9:43:00 AM
Saturday, September 15, 2007
hmmm..... maf today......... really really glad...... perhaps, in the midst of all my revision plus all the other stuff that cropped up, i lost sight of my goal..... but helping out in maf reminded me of whats important.... of whats really important.....
Abt not getting sm, i've accepted the fact and gotten over it =) thx william and zk for ur tags and esp. yh for your sms...... hmmm..... but i only truly realised this during the song session today.... hmmm.... i realised what matters most is not whether i get sm... cause i wanted the sm position in the first place not because i want it for my portfolio or anything, but because i want to do more, to contribute more to huangcheng... but since i cant be sm, i'll just join daoju..... i can still contribute to huangcheng in my own little way, though i may not be a sm......
hmm..... and abt her =)... Was really confused today morning..... i really really dunno where i stand...... but now, i realised that it doesnt matter.... cause no matter what happens, i'll still love her forever =) cause shes everything to me =)...... haha.... perhaps i dun understand love, perhaps i am just a idiot, but it doesnt matter, cause she's the only thing that matters to me =)
As for promos, im re-motivated xP....... haha..... i realised that i've been getting slackier and slackier, but now, i promise to buck up.... i'll finish all my notes by monday, finish chem revision paper and another maths paper by tuesday, get physics tys from wenjun and finish at least 1/2 of the topics by thurs, finish chem booklets by friday and spend sunday revising econs. sat shall be my buffer day =)...... Hope i can achieve this =)
Hmm....... now onto the actual maf.... haha... omg, its super high lol.... haha, was man-ing the stall where ppl had to blow out candles from a distance... then the furthest candle was like super far and almost impossible to blow out lol..... haha.... was super fun cheering for the ppl, getting more ppl to play, and niao-ing those ppl who cant blow out the candles.... shouted till my entire voice hoarse diao.... haha.... its like super super funny lol.... then got a lot of random stuff happening..... hmmm...... lol..... then went to mass song session =) huangcheng circle!!!! xP..... yay!!!!! super super high la....... sing until out of breath and no voice liao...... i think we were like the noisest group during song session lol..... then after that was dance session..... hmm..... super random la.... forgot most of the mass dances... then the cameraman nvr show the dance i/c somemore... a bit can dance..... then i was dancing 'i got my eyes set on you' with mr lan ying jie -.-".......... and halfway, i snatched zhenghang from guanjie i think and threw yingjie to him xP........ haha.... cause yingjie was -.-"........ hmm...... quite fun la... really really enjoyed myself..... then during debrief we sang 唱一首华初的歌again.... hmm... really really high then..... haha.... tired, but super high........... then after that played with sparkers on the rooftop.... hmm.... havent played with sparkers for a very long time.... a pleasant memory....... hmmm........ really really glad that maf happened.....
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 11:59:00 PM
Friday, September 14, 2007
didnt get sm.......... hmmm........ all i can feel now is disappointment...... but perhaps, im alrdy numbed to the feeling....... nvm, it all doesnt matter now..... 10 days left to promos..... just forget everything else and mug.....
When there was you and me
High School Musical
It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
That's coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you
I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song
Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you
I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind
Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 8:21:00 PM
Sunday, September 09, 2007
omg..... just watched finished bruce almight on tv..... haha... at the start sort of regreted watching it, but the ending was super super touching lor..... its like God asked bruce if he wanted his girlfren back, then bruce replied:no.... I want her to be happy... even if that means she wont be with me.... i want her to be with a guy who truly loves her the way she loves him... I want her to be happy forever... for her to be with a guy that truly treasures her...
omg... i cant believe he said that lor.... i mean, thats the rarest breed of guy there is lor....... aiya, i know its a movie lar.... but if it was real life and i was the gf, i'll be super touched lor... haha..... Super super touching la..... but i guess this sort of guy is like 1 in a 100 la..... haha.....
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 9:31:00 PM
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Hmmm........ after all the philosophy posts.... haha... maybe i shld post something substantial......
hmmm........ once upon a time, there was a runner, a marathon runner....... he wasn't very good and quite lazy, but still he performed quite well in the numerous marathons he took part in..... often, he would start slowly and blaze at the end...... hmmm......... but one day, this marathon runner tripped and injured his leg..... the wound was terrible, to say the least.... but then, there was this nationwide super important marathon coming up...... so the runner made a decision, the only decision he could make......... he bounded up his wound and ran on........ this time, it was a 21 hours marathon....... in the first hour, he managed to ignore the pain.... to just push on at a extremely fast pace, leaving many other competitors eating his dust..... but halfway through the second hour, he stumbled over a rock, and his wound split open again.... the pain burnt through his leg....... but he bit his lip and struggled on...... yet, he slowed down, was it weariness from the first hour of chionging? or was it the wound? We would never know....... but out the blue, another runner caught up with him.... but this runner was enticed by the scenery.... the beauty of it all.... and thus, he accidentally kicked the wound of the injured runner...... The wound hurt..... it really really hurt..... but still, the runner continued on, limping, instead of running....... but the pain was too much.... too unbearable...... and thus, near the end of the two hours, the runner sat down, and attempted to clean his wound and rebound it... getting ready to run again..........
Haha, stay tuned for a blow by blow account of the next 19 hours xP............
hmmmm..... after alighting off 66, I decided to take the long way home......... a much longer way and i walked rather slowly........ but the road was deserted and dark........ quiet..... a quietness that i could identify with....... 4" 33'
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 8:18:00 PM
Monday, September 03, 2007
hmmm........... something that i always wanted to blog abt........ morals....... my principles
Hmm.... i realised i;ve been venturing into discusions in this realm for a very long time..... haha..... morally, my standpoint is that one should always be kind and respectful to the other party, no matter what the other party does.... The other party committing a mistake doesnt give u a right to commit the same mistake too......... 你对我不仁，但我不能对你不意.......... haha..... i guess ideally, i would want to treat everyone well........
HOWEVER, before you guys start throwing rotten eggs at me and point out all the stupid stuff that i've done, which i admit i do sometimes, theres a huge divergence between what i would do ideally and what i do.......
hmm.... whenever i discuss concepts or theories to do with philosophy or behaviour, for the sake of discussion, i like to assume that stuff happens ideally........ e.g. emotions dun come into play, we are all perfectly rational beings, etc, etc........ of cos, this doesnt happen..........
The idea of a philosopher king...... by plato is a good one actually........ cause the only assumption it makes is that the philosopher king himself is a self less, all seeing being that acts in the best interest of everyone... of course, its impossible............ but compared to democracy, where the assumption is that there will be fair competition and that everyone will vote for the party that they feel will benefit the society most and that everyone is rational beings..... democracy seems to be even more impossible............... plus, one of the most important cornerstones of democracy, highlighted in the declaration of independence, (I forgot the original phrasing, but it goes something like this) When the government in power begins to forsake the interest of the people for its own benefits in order to stay in power, the people with the power to right this wrong have the responsiblity to do it. In other words, the population has to act as a watchdog for the government, ensuring that the government is acting in everyone's best interests, and if the government grows addicted to power, the people who can overthrow the government and set up a better government, HAVE the responsibility to do it......
But there is no absolute rubrics to judge it.... just like there is no absolute right or wrong.... also, every single government theory assumes that someone, at least, HAS to be a selfless individual that acts in everyone's best interests.... but is that even possible?
hmmmmmmm........ i realised i think over such stuff a lot............. maybe this energy shld be better spent mugging........... sigh..........
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 11:19:00 PM
Friday, August 31, 2007
hmmm....... today was teachers day...... haha... HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY TO ALL THE TEACHERS OUT THERE!!!! xP anyway, the celebrations was quite ok la.... but also rather lame.... haha.... then went to watch ratatouille.... haha... for the first time ever, our class outing actually had more girls than guys!!!!! amazing!!!!!!! lol......... but 75% of the girls not from our class lol......... haha.... hmmm......... the movie was extremely interesting and entertaining.... shant post spoilers here so dun worry xP......... haha..... but what really captured my attention today was talking to cao lei and li hui.... haha.... discussing philo was fun.... and refreshing..... a break from the complex physics xP.... lol, not that physics is boring or anything, but an excess of anything, even something as good as physics, is....
(Disclaimer: Read on at your OWN risk)
hmmm..... so i decided to blog abt my standpoint.... haha.... cause i know its gonna change... so next time i can look back and read what my stand is.......
hmm..... Im a compatibilist..... I believe that free will exists... but no choice is completely free... because we are constrainted by circumstances.... but at the same time, we cant completely blame our circumstances for our actions..... hmmm.... so its like we have biased choices, but we have choices nonetheless........
And i believe reality is just our perception........ our belief does matter....... but i dun believe in isolism... hmmm..... i think a lot of my beliefs are based on the basic belief that our existence has a purpose....... if u take that basic assumption as true, u can deduce everything after that reasonably..........
But, as i said to li hui, ultimately, philosophy is a subject that can never be resolved..... everything in the world, in order to make a conclusion, a theory, u need assumptions.... reasonanble assumptions, yes, but assumptions nonetheless........ imagine it this way, if u do not assume that 1+1=2, u cannot derive anything in maths......... similarily, physics, chemistry and biology only hold true in their own framework of existence.... however, in philo, u cant make any assumption.... cause in philo, u have to qn everything............... and in philo, u know only one thing, and the thing is that you know one thing.... Philosophy is like the grand unified theory in physics.... its a possible for it to reach a logical conclusion..... but there are endless contridictions, etc that one would face............ and in philo, everything is similar to dark matter, everything exists as just beliefs, theories are invented as theories trying to explain the observed effect...... but due to the single direction of time (lets just assume its true here, shall blog abt time travel next time), anyway, since time only flows in one direction, theres no way u can repeat exactly the same scenerio with only one variable changed to test the theories...... besides, everything in philo are idealist scenerios.... real life is much complicated......... in sciences, u can make assumptions to get a simple ideal model and slowly remove the assumptions to make it more life like...... but u cant make that assumption in physics.... everything in philo is highly interrelated.... its impossible to remove a assumption cause everything in philo are too closely related.... interwined.... haha....
hmmm..... thats all today xP........ i feel super tempted to blog more abt even more confusing stuff.... but im scared of getting sued for brain dmg xP
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 8:23:00 PM
Monday, August 27, 2007
30+ mins to last me for 30+ days........
1 min a day...........
O well, i know i should be content =) =)
I'll keep waiting =) =)
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 6:45:00 PM
Thursday, August 23, 2007
What's happening to me?????? My mood swings are getting wilder..... my actions are getting more and more unpredictable.... and i've been letting almost everyone down..... to everyone who i've let down or hurt in any way in the past few days, I'm really sorry................
Hmm............ I've decided..... i'll settle everything by next tuesday...... Then, ill sit down and truly concentrate on my studies.... I owe it to myself, and to everyone else who believed in me, to truly put in effort into my studies..... I guess this is the only way..... only 1 mth plus left till promos...... for this one mth, i guess..... nothing else would matter....... unless something drastic really happens.......
Its time to shelf my feelings....... I guess, after all, u were right........ We cant concentrate on our studies and be in love at the same time...... But that doesnt mean i'll stop waiting for u..... it just means that for this one mth, my studies would come first...... and after the promos..... I know... my feelings for you wont change....... and ill continue waiting =) waiting for that day to come =) cause i believe........
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 9:50:00 PM
Monday, August 20, 2007
=) =) =) happy =) =) =)
xP
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 9:53:00 PM
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
lol........ today was a super hilarous day lor......... lol......... i think i almost died from laughing too much..........
lol...... haha.... firstly, at chem lecture..... micheal was sleeping as usual.... then box went to write OMG! PWNED!!! on his paper, where he was suppose to try and solve the qn...... then suddenly, the lecturer wanted to ask someone to show his ans.... then somehow, she saw sam lee, so ask him to ask someone from 6k to go down...... then mr lee super evil lor..... so he decided to send micheal down..... then the lecturer thought micheal had the ans..... so micheal was like walking down slowly, looking super confident lor...... then when he showed his paper to the lecturer, the lecturer was like wtf? and flashed micheal's paper on the visualiser.......... lol....... then the whole audi burst out laughing...........
hmm..... then nothing much for physics and bio lecture..... then maths tutorial..... micheal was full of his usual crap la.... but nothing much...... Haha..... then we went to tech semiconductors...... super funny lor.... hmmm...... mr lee was like trying to find out stuff from us thru torture xP..... haha..... then we went to the clean room to look at the wafers..... then super funny lor..... we were like putting on the clean suits..... then mine was still in the plastic bag.... so i asked, are we suppose to just rip open the plastic bag? Then, yi tyan was like, no, u can just wait for it to quantum tunnel out....... lol... then i burst out laughing lol..... and i couldnt stop.... then mr lee just finished putting on his clean suit, so he thought i was laughing at him...... then he was staring at me and saying, ur look just like me later..... and im like half laughing and half trying to say, im not laughing at u, really!!!.......... then while i was putting on my clean suit, mr lee kept staring at me.... then his facial expression super weird lor.... so i couldnt stop laughing lor....... lol..... then mr lee and siyuan was like "kissing"... cause the part of the clean suit covering the mouth was ballooned out..... then they were bumping their ballooned out mouth cover against each other lol........ and they make a super sweet couple XD............ hahaha....... then when we went back for refreshments, mr lee took the second lift.... so we were on the first lift, then micheal was like, faster take everything!!!!! dun let mr lee eat!!!! LOL............ haha..... super funny lor...............
Hmmm..... i realise mr lee likes to give me his evil look lor =S...... haha.... and if he reads this, i think he'll give me even more evil looks xP........
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 6:22:00 PM
Monday, August 13, 2007
Contented =) Well, it wasnt all that i expected, but im content =) hmm.... hope u felt better after that too.....
hmmm...... im a guy that never likes to wait..... but after all, there are some things in life worth waiting for.... and for those stuff, waiting 3 hours is nothing =)
After all, I'm prepared to wait forever =)
I know that day will come =)
Hmm.... first time in a long while that my blog post has so many smileys =)..... haha..... but feelings super happy now =)
My wings broke, and my dreams were shattered at 7:43:00 PM
*coming soon*